Astrology at the junction of Fate and Free Will.

Posts tagged ‘Humor’

Venus/Pluto Word Of The Day

Let’s have a little fun as a retrograding Venus in Leo contacts Pluto, shall we? For your entertainment, the definition of a Plutonic term from my own personal lexicon –

Necromance (n.):

1) A Lo-Fi expression of Venus/Pluto energy that results in a love affair with (metaphorical) Dead Things, including but not limited to:

A) romantic liaisons that have long past their expiration dates but that are permitted to linger on in some half-dead state due to an unwillingness to let go, stick a fork in it, and call it “done”.

OR

B) relationships that have long ago ended but that have, for some ungodly reason, been resurrected when they should have just been allowed to Rest In Peace.

Indulging a necromance can lead to necrophilia; a.k.a. the (possibly renewed) consummation of a sexual relationship with an Undead Party when one would be much better off …Read More…

Astro-Soundbite Du Jour

LOL, I was chatting with my yoga teacher last night when she related a funny little story to me.  One of her other jobs is to run wilderness hiking tours at a prestigious local inn..she had this husband and wife couple wanting to do a scenic hike, and the amusing thing was the husband *insisted* on leading this excursion despite her being there.  She smiled to herself and decided it was No Big Deal…she’d just let him do his thing and see what happened.  Needless to say, she had a good internal chuckle as he then proceeded to get them very lost despite having the aid of a map, LOL.  She wasn’t lost, of course – she knew these woods like the back of her hand.  But he grew increasingly distressed as it became glaringly apparent to all that they were nowhere near the supposed landmarks he was looking for, insisting “But the map SAYS…!”  – umm, newsflash, dude: It helps if you hold the map the right way!  😛

This is what happens when …Read More…

Venus Conjunct Jupiter In Leo Humor….

VenusInLeoFLattery

LOL, nobody loves to be flattered quite like The King….except for maybe a Queenly Venus in Leo amped up by a conjunction to Jupiter!  😛   😀

But with Venus retrograde, on a more serious note mere plastic praises are not enough and a litmus-test square to Saturn does suggest making sure it’s REAL and not just a bunch of ingratiating BS!  Also? Don’t be the girl depicted in the cartoon above!  That same square to Saturn may indicate there’s some psychological work required, perhaps because self-worth might be lacking.  And it *is* possible to overcompensate for a sense of inadequacy via an excessive focus on the approbation of others.  So funk dat noise – keep in mind how last month’s newsletter mentioned that it is more important we learn how to self-validate with Venus Rx!

08/04/2014

For Sagittarius

An amusing, quick-and-dirty way to figure out which side of the forthcoming Saturn/Neptune square you’re currently vibing with (active between 2015-2016) is to contemplate your response to the image below:

BeerBikeLimo

Meet the beer bike limo! Yes, it’s a real thing. You and a few pals can belly up to the bar and enjoy a pint whilst taking in a slow-motion tour of the city powered by your own two legs (and a Designated Driver chauffer, of course). If you get too tired/drunk to peddle? No big deal – an eco-friendly electric motor kicks in to save the day!

Now does the idea of a beer bike limo sound like the BEST. THING. EVER., or are you instead struck by impracticality of such a slow, seemingly pointless means of transport?

If you answered A, you’re most likely erring on the Neptune side of the equation. Neptune will square the Suns of all November & early December-born Sagittarians between now & late 2016. Symptoms of this can include: an increased hankering for booze (or other substances), a marked decrease in critical thinking and possible impaired judgment, and/or a longing for some kind of spiritual connection. For more possible manifestations (both constructive and detrimental), see the following post on Neptune transits.

If instead you answered B, you’re probably leaning more toward the Saturn end of things. ALL Sagittarians will experience the passage of Saturn over their Suns during the next 2 years, and this has the capacity to make for an “all work and no play” attitude. If you can’t muster at least a little good humor at the absurdity of the above-pictured invention, it may be a sign that you’re taking life a little too seriously these days and could benefit from an injection of whimsy! I mean, come on – it’s a pub crawl with cardio, for goodness sakes!

However you feel about the beer bike limo, you have to admit that it is a pretty genius business idea perfect for the aforementioned Saturn in Sagittarius square to Neptune in Pisces. Craft beers have been taking off like crazy thanks to Neptune’s residence in Pisces, and this is an excellent way of imbibing with virtual calorie-count neutrality while toning/firming those gams at the same time! It’s very neo-hippie, IMO – something Sadge would love, as I’ve yet to meet a Sadge that couldn’t run or bike their ass off. Well, OK – maybe one or two, but that’s because they favored armchair philosophizing over a couple of brewskis to general physical exertion, LOL. But this sign does love to stretch the legs and roam, and I can’t think of a more fitting (and hilarious!) mode of transportation for a Sadge having a Neptune transit – cheers!

02/13/2015

Inquiring Minds Want To Know:

Philosoraptor

The Philosoraptor: Quite possibly the most perfect pop-culture mascot ever for our Centaur friends, LOL!

Welcome to Sagittarius season, everyone – just a little horsey humor for ya to help kick things off!  Oh, and speaking of the Sun entering Sadge, you do realize this means we’ve got a Sun/Jupiter mutual reception in effect for the next 30 days, right?

11/22/2014

Mars In Libra Entertainment/Query

Loooooong ago in a galaxy far, far away, I once had a very Mars-y (ex)boyfriend who used to urge my Libran ass to “Make a decision, even if it’s a wrong one!” –  I find that hilariously funny in retrospect, because it perfectly and succinctly illustrates the difference between how these two energies operate. One pulls the trigger, the other deliberates to weigh the pros against the cons.

One of Libra’s nicknames is “The Fence-sitter of the Zodiac”, which is born partially of its desire to balance opposing forces (i.e. positives vs. negatives) and partially due its consideration for others.  Libra doesn’t just think about how a decision or course of action impacts itself; rather it looks around to see how other people may be affected as well because its natural orientation is toward facilitating harmonious relations, and this can’t be had if we ignore others.

So how ya doin’ out there, Libras?  Ya’ll feelin’ a bit more decisive these days since Mars saddled into your sign back in December?  I know I am!  Let’s see if we waffle during Mars’ retrograde from March to May….!

03/19/2014